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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29114304">The Perfect Gift</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quillsandcoffee/pseuds/Quillsandcoffee'>Quillsandcoffee</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Green Eggs and Ham (Cartoon)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Christmas, Fluff, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 04:21:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,561</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29114304</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quillsandcoffee/pseuds/Quillsandcoffee</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s Christmas and Guy needs to get Sam a gift. But what do you get for the man that changed your life?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Guy Am I/Sam I Am (Green Eggs and Ham)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>31</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Perfect Gift</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“It’s Christmas!” came the exited voice of the tiny Who, bouncing around his slightly less enthusiastic friend with a wide smile on his face. “It’s finally here!”</p><p>Guy sighed, flipping a page in his book. “It’s not Christmas yet. There’s still two days until then, and I intend to spend those days in peace and quiet without you bothering me incessantly about it, alright?”</p><p>He had spent these past couple of days avoiding Sam who had become a Christmas maniac since the start of December. Decorations now covered their house end to end and Guy had eaten so many Christmas cookies that even the sight of them made him queasy.</p><p>Sam grabbed Guy’s book, pulling it away from his face. “Aw, c’mon buddy. Enough with the grouching. You don’t wanna end up like the Grinch, do you?”</p><p>“If I recall he ended up living a perfectly happy life with some who he found in a house across town,” Guy said, jerking his book back. “And you can’t compare me to him just cause I want there to be some quiet around here.”</p><p>Sam sighed dramatically, flopping down on the couch besides him. “Alright, I’ll stop talking about it…”</p><p>Guy turned back to his book, which was an interesting autobiography of one of his favorite inventers. He hummed contentedly, feeling himself start to drift off to his happy place.</p><p>“So, what’d you get me?”</p><p>Guy’s smile dropped as his metaphorical bubble of peace was popped. “I thought you were gonna stop talking about it.”</p><p>Sam scooched closer till his face was resting on Guy’s book. “I am. Just as soon as you tell me what you got me for Christmas.”</p><p>“It’s… a surprise,” he said lamely, averting his gaze.</p><p>In truth, the Knox had failed to buy anything for his boyfriend after weeks and weeks of trying to think of something. It was their first Christmas together and Guy wasn’t sure what to get him. Sam had always been the more thoughtful one, always knowing the exact thing to make the other person happy. But Guy was the exact opposite. He had spent so long being stuck in his own head that trying to think about what would make another person happy was exhausting.</p><p>Not to mention, Sam meant more to him than anyone had in a long, long time. How do you get the most amazing person in the world a gift fitting for them?</p><p>“Ooh, I love surprises!” Sam said, grinning up at him. “So, what’s the surprise?”</p><p>“That’s not how surprises work,” Guy said, shoving him off. “You’re just gonna have to see for yourself on Christmas.”</p><p>Sam slumped in disappointment. “Okay. But it’s gonna be hard to wait for such an amazing gift.”</p><p>Guy winced, gripping his book anxiously. “Yeah…”</p><p>                                                           ***</p><p>“Thank you for coming on such short notice,” Guy said, opening the door with relief. “I couldn’t think of anyone else and I only have today to find it.”</p><p>“Of course,” Michellee said, taking off her hat and smoothing down her messy hair. “I know how frantic last minute shopping can be. That’s why I bye all of E.B’s gifts at least two months before each holiday.”</p><p>Michellee and Guy’s relationship had been a tumultuous one at best, and a disaster at worst. There were moments that Guy looked back on fondly, of course, but the number of others where they would end up fighting far outnumbered them. Then, once Guy had realized his feelings for Sam, the two had decided that they would be much better off as friends than anything else. It wasn’t an easy friendship at first, too many unpleasant memories, and they spent the first two weeks of it primarily avoiding each other. After a while, though, they fell back into the rhythm of it and Guy was finally able to look Michellee in the eyes without feeling guilty.</p><p>Guy groaned. “You’re so much more prepared for this than I am.”</p><p>She blushed gracefully. “I just like to have everything in order. So, do you have any ideas?”</p><p>Guy shrugged helplessly, pulling out a list from his coat pocket. “Not really. The only things I can think of are illegal or dangerous, sometimes both when it comes to animals.”</p><p>Michellee took the list, scanning over it. Once she finished she pursed her lips, handing the list back. “Yes, you definitely can’t get him any of that.”</p><p>He sighed. “I know…”</p><p>“But I’m sure we can find something!” She grabbed his hand, forcing him to look her in the eyes. “It’s going to be okay, alright?”</p><p>After a moment he nodded, smiling back at her. “Yeah. Okay.”</p><p>The town was fairly crowded this time of the month, with people running to and fro, frantic to get the last of their gifts. Whos and Flerzes, Wockets and Knoxes, and all manner of creature scurried from stall to stall, practically throwing money at their owners in their haste. Guy and Michellee gaped at the scene, eyes scanning the chaos.</p><p>“Okay, so this is a bit more of a problem than I anticipated,” Guy muttered, jerking out of the way as a family of fish came waddling by. “I knew I shouldn’t have put it off for this long.”</p><p>Besides him, Michellee bit her lip in poorly concealed worry. “Don’t fret,” she said, putting on a smile. “It’s just Christmas shopping. How bad can it be?”</p><p>Guy raised an eyebrow, but before he could protest too heavily, Michellee was pulling him forward by the elbow, glancing at each of the booths in turn. “What about that?”</p><p>A relatively abandoned stall stood to their right, the owner slumped tiredly against the counter. “Fizzy sugar whirler pops?” Guy asked skeptically.</p><p>She shrugged, moving towards it with determination in her eye. “It may not be my cup of tea so to speak, but this is for Sam.” She knocked on the counter to announce their presence and the owner jerked awake, grinning at the sight of them. “Excuse me? Do you have any left in stock?”</p><p>The man’s eyes brightened with prospect and he leaned over the counter, grabbing their hands. “Yes there are, yes there are! We still have two boxes left in the back. Let me say, sir and miss, you are very lucky indeed. That would be about fifteen gronkels per box.”</p><p>Guy’s hopeful look faded as he glanced down at his wallet. “I only have fourteen gronkels… I don’t suppose you could cut me a deal?”</p><p>The man pursed his lips, rubbing his chin. “I don’t know. That last gronkel can make all the difference sometimes…”</p><p>There was a loud shout and Michellee and Guy were jerked aside as a young couple shoved between them. “Two boxes of fizzy sugar whirler pops, sir!”</p><p>The man’s grin started to return. “That would be thirty gronkels, sir, for both boxes.”</p><p>“But we were buying first!” Michellee protested.</p><p>“Done!” The couple slammed the money down and the owner eagerly snatched them up. He shuffled around in the back and returned with two large boxes, handing them over to the young couple. They took it gratefully and flounced off, chatting chirpily to each other the whole way.</p><p>“But that was our box,” Michellee said, watching them go. “We were here first, you can’t just do that.”</p><p>The man shrugged. “Eh, no money no product. That’s just how business works.”</p><p>Michellee’s face curled into a sneer and she opened her mouth to say something unprintable before Guy grabbed her hand, pulling her away from the booth. “It’s okay,” he assured her. “We didn’t have the money anyway.”</p><p>Michellee shook her head, frowning. “I’m sorry, I just got so mad…”</p><p>“I understand. Here, let’s try this booth here.”</p><p>For the next couple of hours they tried booth after booth, but nothing showed any promise. Everything was either too good (expensive) or not good enough, and whenever they found something they could afford it was completely sold out. Eventually, as the day began to turn to night on Christmas Eve, they collapsed on a nearby table, their faces sunken in with defeat.</p><p>“This is ridiculous,” Guy complained. “This shouldn’t be that hard.”</p><p>“And now we’re nearly out of time,” Michellee agreed, glancing down at her watch. She gave him an apologetic look. “I’m sorry. I was so certain we would find something. I didn’t realize it would be so busy. Not even something small like a—”</p><p>“Like a Gatorrabit!” Guy interrupted.  </p><p>Michellee wrinkled her nose. “Well, I suppose, but—”</p><p>“No, look!”</p><p>He pointed across the fair to a small pen where two baby Gatorrabits hopped about, chomping at flies that buzzed frantically to get away. A woman stood next to the pen in a uniform, feeding little bits of carrot and mouse to them. A sign hang next to her on the wall that read, Closing at 8:00. Michellee looked down at her watch again. 7:45.</p><p>Guy was hopping up, already starting to run. “C’mon, we’ve got to go, before it closes!”</p><p>“Is this really wise?” Michellee asked, grabbing her purse and hurrying after him. “What if it’s too expensive?”</p><p>“We’re gonna have to take that chance!” Guy hopped past a lady on a bike, throwing back a harried apology. Michellee struggled to keep up with him.</p><p>“Isn’t a Gatorrabit a bit dangerous, though?” she insisted.</p><p>“I know! He’ll love it!”</p><p>They reached the booth in record time, panting and out of breath. Guy placed a hand down on the desk, fixing his intense gaze on the shocked woman. “How much for the Gatorrabit?”</p><p>The woman took a step back, adjusting her hat. “Well,” she said, shooting a glance at the animals who were looking up curiously at the new guests. “They’re ten gronkels each. But that’s not including the cage and food and everything—”</p><p>“We’ll take it.”</p><p>                                                                ***</p><p>“They sure are late,” Sam sighed, tapping his fingers against a tray of Christmas cookies. “Guy said he and Michellee had an urgent task they had to attend to, but surely it doesn’t take this long?”</p><p>He plopped his head in his hand, staring out the window. “Maybe they got held up,” he said, a hint of worry coming over him. “Maybe they’re in trouble and they have no way of contacting me? Maybe someone kidnapped them and they can’t call me because the kidnapper took away their phones and threatened to kill them if they talked?”</p><p>Sam jumped up from his seat, grabbing the door handle. “Or,” he said, pausing. “They lost track of time because of all the fun they’re having.” He dropped his hand, shoulders slumping. “Without me.”</p><p>He dragged himself back to the couch and sat down, feeling even worse than he had before. This was supposed to be a special day for just the two of them, but it was turning out exactly like all his last Christmases—everyone making plans at the last second, ending up with him all alone. Again.</p><p>Sam took a Christmas cookie from the plate, taking a small bite. Maybe this was for the best. If Guy wanted to hang out with Michellee all day instead of spend Christmas with him, then maybe he should. After all, Guy’s happiness was all that mattered.</p><p>He felt his eyes start to flicker drowsily and he curled up on the couch, snoring quietly as he drifted to sleep. His head fell against the cookies, smooshing them against the plate.</p><p>A little while later, the door creaked open quietly and Guy popped his head in, glancing around. “Sam?” he asked, looking around. “Are you there?”</p><p>He noticed the sleeping form on the couch and he smiled, coming in fully and pushing the door closed with his foot. In his arms was a small box with holes in it emitting growling sounds. Guy shushed it, pressing it closer to his chest. “Be quiet, little buddy. You’re supposed to be a surprise.”</p><p>He crossed the living room and placed the box under the tree. Then he turned to Sam, shaking his head as he saw the squished cookies. “Honestly… eating sugar before bed. You’re like a child.”</p><p>Guy grabbed Sam’s tiny form in his arms, grunting a bit from the weight. Sam shifted, snuggling into Guy’s chest unconsciously. Guy felt his heart warm at the sight and he pressed a kiss against his head. “C’mon, let’s get you to bed.”</p><p>He climbed up the stairs and into their bedroom, setting Sam down on the disheveled blankets. He took off his tie and hat, setting them on the dresser. He looked up at the clock which read 12:01 in shiny red numbers. He climbed into bed, wrapping his arms around Sam. “Merry Christmas buddy.”</p><p>                                                             ***</p><p>“Guy, it’s Christmas, it’s Christmas!”</p><p>Guy groaned as he felt hands violently shaking him and he flopped over, waving a hand at him to go away. Seconds later the same hands were shaking him and he reluctantly got up, grumbling. “It’s too early, Sam.”</p><p>The little Who rolled his eyes, grabbing his hand and tugging his lover towards the door. “C’mon, c’mon, c’mon! No sleeping in on Christmas!”</p><p>“What are you, five? And since when was that a rule?” Guy muttered, but allowed himself to be pulled down the stairs to the living room.</p><p>Sam gasped as he noticed the empty cookie plate. “Look Guy, Santa’s been here!”</p><p>Guy rubbed his eyes, collapsing on the couch. “Yeah, yeah, whatever.” He noticed his discarded book from the other day and smiled, picking it back up.</p><p>Sam went to the tree and he came back with a wrapped box with a bow on top, handing it to Guy. “This is for you.”</p><p>The Knox accepted the box, slowly tearing off the paper. His eyes widened when he saw what it was. “A toolkit?”</p><p>“To help with your inventing,” Sam informed him, smiling cheekily in a way that made Guy roll his eyes.</p><p>“Thank you,” he said, but Sam was already back at the tree again, and it wasn’t long before he noticed that a certain box was growling.</p><p>“Did you get me a living box?” Sam gushed, picking the box up and petting it lovingly.</p><p>“No, it’s inside the box,” Guy snapped.</p><p>“Of course, of course, I knew that.”</p><p>Sam lifted the top of the box to reveal a small animal with sharp jaws and a fluffy tail. Sam gasped, picking it up. “Is this what I think it is?”</p><p>Guy nodded and Sam pressed the animal to his chest. “You got me a Gatorrabit!” He frowned then, pulling away. “But you hate pets.”</p><p>“I do,” Guy consented, and then smiled, flushing a bit. “But if it’s for you then maybe I can make an exception. It took me all day to find it. That’s why I was so late yesterday. I’m sorry I couldn’t have been here earlier; I just lost track of time.”</p><p>Sam thought about how he had doubted him and felt suddenly very foolish. How could he ever think Guy didn’t love him? Sure, he was grumpy sometimes. But he always made sure Sam knew how much he cared for him.</p><p>Sam clambered up onto the couch next to him, snuzzling into his side. “Thank you. I love it.”</p><p>I love you, was the implied rest of the sentence, and Guy blinked before breaking into a contented smile. “Yeah,” he said. “Me too.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>You can find me at my tumblr: https://crookswithbooks.tumblr.com/</p></blockquote></div></div>
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